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Xanax addiction

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by I want my family back, Mar 31, 2017.

  1. My 18 year old son has been using xanax, or what they call "bars" I don't know how to handle this drug addiction, he lies, steals and of course denies it. His transformation when he is under the influence is so noticeable, he slurs his word and becomes this person that I don't know, I am so worried about him but I do not know what else to do. This situation is bringing so much stress in our family
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @I want my family back... Welcome and thanks for sharing with us. I'm so sorry that you're struggling with your son's Xanax use, but I'm glad you reached out to us. Believe me...You are not alone.

    Xanax is a benzodiazepine (or "benzo") and benzos are nasty drugs. They are highly addictive and quitting them can present a lot of nasty withdrawal symptoms. These two articles may help you understand more:

    Benzodiazepine Abuse

    Benzodiazepine Withdrawal

    I'm wondering: Is your son living at home. If so, you have every right to establish boundaries for him. For example, if he wants to live with you, he can't use drugs. And if he does use drugs, there will be consequences. This is much better than just letting him live with you and do whatever he wants. Doing that is enabling, and that makes it easier for him to continue his addictive behavior.

    There's a really good book out there called Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change. It's written specifically for parents and partners of people who struggle with addiction and it's full of incredibly helpful information. It's a book I wish would've been around when I was dealing with my son's addiction to RX drugs and heroin. The book teaches you things like how to communicate better with your loved one; how to talk to them to help convince them to want to change; and--most importantly if you ask me--how to take care of yourself while you're dealing with your loved one's issues. Self-care is not being selfish; it's absolutely essential when you're going through what you're going through.

    There are also some other books out there that might help you. I talk about some of my favorites in this blog I wrote:

    6 Essential Books for Those with an Addicted Loved One

    I also highly recommend that you find a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting in your area and give it a try. Being face-to-face with others who know exactly what you're feeling and going through can be super helpful and comforting. It's a good way to get support and educate yourself at the same time. Also--and this is important--everyone in the family needs to find some support and work on themselves. Addiction is a family disease and it affects everyone who loves the individual with the substance use problem. If you don't get help for YOU, you will become addicted to your son's addiction and everyone will suffer.

    Nar-Anon/Al-Anon teaches us that we didn't cause our loved one's addiction, we can't control it, and we can't cure it. That's hard to come to grips with sometimes, but it's so true. Your son is the only one who can make the decision to change his ways. It doesn't matter how much YOU want him to get clean; if he doesn't want to do it, you're just spinning your wheels.

    One suggestion: Would your son be open to talking to a therapist? Usually there are underlying issues that can cause someone to want to self-medicate. Things like depression, anxiety, ADHD, childhood trauma, etc. can lead to a person's addiction to drugs. A good therapist can oftentimes help someone discover and confront these issues, and that can make getting clean easier. Just a thought.

    We are here to help and support you however we can. If you have questions, want advice, or just need a place to vent, you can come here. We will listen without judgment, so stop by anytime. In the meantime, I'm sending you lots of positive energy and hugs full of hope. I have been in your shoes, my friend, and I know it's not easy. What is easy is letting your loved one's addiction take control of you and dictate how you feel 24/7/365. But you have to fight that with all your might. Because YOUR life matters, too.

    I will keep your son in my thoughts and prayers. Know that there are people who care about you and your family.

  3. Thank you so much for advise and understanding, it is so hard to see your child fall apart in front of your eyes and feel so helpless, I will follow thru, he lost his job today and is just proves that I see everyday in him everyone's sees too. Keep us in your prayers
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    I'm sorry to hear that your son lost his job today, @I want my family back. Maybe he will see that as a consequence of his actions. One suggestion: If he asks you for money, don't give it to him.

    I will keep you all in my prayers. And sending love and light to all of you as well.
  5. Thank you for your advise, he uses it to get "fucked up" , I also drinks which worries me too. This two last days he has gone to parties and comes back drunk, I had to picked him up from the parties, which I do not mind and do not argue with him about his drinking. I just don't know what to do about jos dtug using I had offered to take him to therapy but he refuses, I will talk to him tomorrow and ask him why he takes those pills, thank you again so much for your advise.