An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

You are Not Stupid

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by sklauda1, Jan 15, 2015.

  1. sklauda1

    sklauda1 Member

    Seeing this category in the forums, I could not help but post a quote from a late friend of mine. He was the one I went to when I felt at the end of my rope. A lot of people did the same. He was best known for this quote:

    "You are not stupid, don't ever tell yourself that you are, you're important. What you have in your head may not mean a lot to a lot of people, but it's what makes you special. You are important, you mean something, and you are gonna go out there and do some wonderful things. First and foremost, you are not stupid; you are not an idiot, so never tell yourself that you are.…So, if no one else ever tells you this, know that I care about you."

    He took his own life last year, but his memory has kept me going this year and I have never been more productive in life. Because I want him to be proud of me and I want him to live on through my actions. He was too kind to go so young (43).

    I don't know if it will help anyone else, but there it is.

    Attached Files:

    Natalie, Mara, hell2say and 2 others like this.
  2. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Wise words. Stupid should be banned from the English language. It's such a demeaning word. I believe no one is really stupid but just lacks the knowledge that's needed. I cringe when I hear it spoken.
  3. juno

    juno Community Champion

    Your friend was inspirational to so many, I'm sorry to hear that he was not an inspiration to himself to hold on to his life.

    Those are some very strong words to keep one motivated and I can't imagine why people think anything less of themselves ever. Thank you for sharing.
  4. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    If i offend a person here with my factual answer, well, that's what it means to be stupid.

    Now if one looks up what these two words mean 'etymologically,' it will clarify a lot of misconceptions:

    Latin stupidus "amazed, confounded; dull, foolish," literally "struck senseless," from stupere "be stunned, amazed, confounded...," and here is the link http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=stupid&allowed_in_frame=0

    The word 'stupid' is not bad or negative, people believe it is because they've been programmed for years to associate the word with a image or video of a human (acting in a particular) being labeled with it in a bias perspective. Every human is stupid at least one moment in their lives, including me, that is a fact. It's why, what, who, when, where, and how one uses a word that ultimately makes it negative or positive in expression.
  5. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    In the modern day context of the word stupid, it is nothing but a sad part of the negative lexicon that plagues our society. Your friend is definitely right, you're not stupid. No one is incapable of being anything that they want to be, and negative words should not hinder someone from being their very best.
  6. orangesunset

    orangesunset Active Contributor

    Maybe your friend is not stupid, but I certainly am Often I look back and I wonder what in the heck was I thinking, was I really that stupid. A real friend is someone who will tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. Sometimes my friends tell me I am being stupid. I might be angry at the time, but usually they where right.

    People need to get a thicker skin and stop being so sensitive in my opinion. If I am being stupid, I want someone to tell be I am being stupid.
  7. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Those are really beautiful words. It's hard to imagine that someone capable of thinking such amazing thoughts would actually take his own life. I'm sure there's a deep-seated reason behind what he did, but on the brighter side, you've changed your life for the better thanks to him. His existence made a difference and that's all that really matters.
    Zyni likes this.
  8. angelicagapit

    angelicagapit Active Contributor

    It just feels so sad how people just give up on life. His words were beautiful. I guess he cared so much about others that he totally forgot about taking care of himself.

    What a great friend to have had and such a sad loss. I hope you continue to hold on to life and know that there are still people out there who want to give up as well. If possible, try to find a way to reach out to them and inspire them with this specific quote.

    Thank you for sharing this.
  9. sklauda1

    sklauda1 Member

    As someone who is mentally ill, we never give up on life. Life hurts so bad that every day we go back to bed alive is a win. I have been so close to suicide that I am surprised I am still alive.

    He was a father and a brother figure to me and another girl who has Aspergers and her parents mentally abuse her. So I'd better take life by the cojones and not let mental illness kill me. I'm going down kicking and screaming even if there are days that I have to retreat and go into hiding.
  10. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    I had a godmother who was telling me inspiring words, just like your friend. She also ended up taking her life in her fourties... It really makes one wonder how can someone be so inspiring, so full of life and hope to others, but then loose hope on themselves. I think for my godmother, it was depression and other illnesses as well. I'm sorry for your loss but I'm happy that you gained some courage and strength from him.

    I many times am stupid and make the wrong decisions, but I work that every day, I become a bit less stupid, a bit truer to my heart and to what I want my life to become. This is what will allow me to look back and say with a nostalgic smile "Oh, how stupid I was! But I'm glad I did it, and I'm glad I came all the way here."
  11. Teresa

    Teresa Senior Contributor

    I think it is common for those who seem the most outgoing and most inspiring for others to be the ones who feel most lost and in need of inspiration. Maybe withing the hope filled and inspiring words they have for others they are really trying to inspire themselves the most.
  12. Twinsmommy31

    Twinsmommy31 Active Contributor

    The worst he spoke are true and will inspire many. No one should ever be called stupid or made to feel as such. You never know where people are in their lives and that one comment can set them off. Words hurt so bad sometimes.
  13. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I saw the video that this person posted but by the time I saw it he was gone already. It's really tragic that no one was able to help him with his inner turmoils. I agree with him that no one should be told they are stupid though. We all have something to contribute and it's just unfortunate that some contributions are valued more than others which causes society to value other people less when their talents are in a more obscure category.
  14. Tournique

    Tournique Senior Contributor

    Wise words. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words really hurt me xD.
  15. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    This story has a very sad ending which was very unexpected. I also believe that no one is stupid; we have all been granted different traits that make us special in our own way. It is good that you have chosen to take the right path and be a better person for you. I hope that your friend rests in peace.
  16. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    Even though he took his life, he left something behind that will touch and change other lives forever. Such beautiful words and encouragement. What an inspiration to us all!
  17. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Sorry to hear that. It is sad when this happens.
    Well, the thing about the word stupid is that people generally just take offense to it without really understanding. The word is used without definition being understood. Ignorance is lack of knowledge or information. If you can learn and apply it, you are only ignorant until you learn it. In other words lacking the knowledge. Stupid by definition is lacking intelligence or common sense.; dazed and unable to think clearly. What’s intelligence? The ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.
    So what is there to take offense to? Stupidity is only permanent if that is what you choose to do. If that is the state, you choose.
    I think the problem is that some people use the word to demean or to degrade someone. Like to say it to be mean or make someone feel bad about themselves. There is nothing wrong with either one of these states of being. They just are. There is nothing wrong with being dazed and confused. It happens and it will pass. If you choose to let it define you and hurt you. This is being ignorant because you don’t even know what it means. IQ, intelligence quotient is a number representing a person’s reasoning ability (using problem solving tests) as compared to the statistical norm or average for their age. Reasoning; the action of thinking about something in a logical, sensible way.
    If you continue to look deeper and deeper. Understanding every word. It doesn’t seem so mean, it doesn’t seem so scary. Some people just go with it and perpetuate it. Its like if someone calls you stupid so you just continue to act as if you are because someone said it. This is what people actually do. I’m going to just say, how stupid is that? You know, to let someone define you that way. They are so dazed and confused that they go along with it. Come on, snap out of it. You are smarter than that. You can be smarter than that.
  18. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Sounds like a wise friend that you had there. I also hate the term stupid. I feel like it's thrown around too freely without any real understanding of how hurtful it can be. Everyone has something to offer. Everyone has their own skills and talents and things to bring to the world, just like your friend said. I think a big part of it is just believing you CAN bring something to the world.
  19. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    What's really disheartening is that people who are called stupid often embrace what others think they are and never try to prove them wrong. I knew a boy who called "stupid" for so long that he any time he did something and his legal guardians wanted to punish him, all he'd do is remind them that he was stupid [didn't know what he was doing].

    I think people who call others stupid are the ones who aren't that smart in the first place because insulting someone doesn't help them. Correcting them and showing them what they did wrong and how it should be done is what a wise person would do.
  20. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I am sorry to hear about the passing of your friend. Well, it's good to know that he made a good impact in your life. Those are really beautiful words. Very inspiring, indeed. Thanks for sharing.