Hi everyone, I am a fairly new poster here. I am also the wife of a recovering addict/alcoholic who has recently relapsed on alcohol. I guess it would be called relapse. He only drinks on the weekends thus far. I know alcoholism is progressive so that worries me a lot. But there isn't a thing that I can do. He has to do this himself if he wants to, but he doesn't want to. He was at a very bad place 5 years ago or so. He started off taking prescription pain pills, which I would say was his drug of choice. He then tried crack and became addicted to that. All the while he was drinking bottles upon bottles of vodka and beer every day. He was very sneaky, which I assume most addicts are. He hid his addiction from me very well for a while. Anyway, he did many stints in rehab and the first few times were due to me. I threatened divorce, I begged him, I cried, I convinced him he could do it. I am the one who more or less "made" him go to rehab the first few times. Each time he would call me within days, to tell me he was going to do it on his own and would be just fine. So I would go get him only to smell the familiar smell of alcohol or crack, or see white "snot" running out of his nose. I then found an online forum. It was for addicts and alcoholics and also had a section for their families. It was an eye opener. I learned loads and learned that I could not, nor could anyone else, force the addicted into treatment. There is no amount of begging or pleading or threatening that will make a person want to get clean and sober. The forum taught me to focus on ME and my well being. Once I let go of that and acted like I didn't care one way or the other, my husband decided enough was enough and he was sick and tired of being that way. He entered treatment after a month or so of me changing my ways. He successfully completed treatment and once he got out, found a job, and was on the path to being the amazing man that he is minus the addiction. He had his days where he was majorly depressed, but he did very well and remained clean and sober for 3 and a half years. Thankfully he got and still has a wonderful job. He loves what he does and makes decent money. He is loving and kind and a excellent partner. He always has been but was very sick with the addiction so did many things out of the norm. Well, about 6 months ago we were at a friends house. He asked if I thought a beer would bother him. I told him I had no idea and all he could do was "try". Stupid on my part. Now he is drinking every weekend. Thankfully he is not drinking every day but I feel that is coming and it scares me. He stays away from liquor and only drinks beer, but still, I am afraid he will decide to give that a whirl next. All the fears I have has caused me to lash out and become the begging, crying, and pleading wife again. I go from that to even drinking with him at times, and I had given up drinking to support him prior. But I then remembered that I can NOT force him to quit again. I can NOT beg, or plead, or threaten him because he is an alcoholic and he is the one responsible for his addiction. He will either decide to work toward sobriety again, or he will not. I have to do the same thing I learned from that forum years ago and that is to let go and not badger him about it. Anyway, I just felt compelled to post this. I just want others going through this to know that things will be much better once they decide to take care of THEMSELVES. You can not make an addict stop. It just doesn't work that way.