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Your Brother Needs Help

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by karmaskeeper, Aug 16, 2015.

  1. karmaskeeper

    karmaskeeper Community Champion

    I was approached the other day by a woman that is well with issues of her on. She is a drunk/drug user. She hangs around with my two brothers, and a friend of mine. This house is just a party place all they do is smoke weed, and stay drunk. My brother sleeps outside on a mattress. The place is disgusting full of roaches etc. Anyway this woman said to me I need to do something about my brother.

    I just looked at her, and said there is nothing I can do. He doesn't want help I can't save him from himself that is up to him. Now grant it I hate to see him in this state he is skin, and bone. He is also disable, and can barely walk sober so when he is drunk it's basically impossible for him to stand or even walk. It breaks my heart to see him that way I try, and avoid them for that very reason. I truly wish him well, but no amount of help will help those that are dead set on never changing.
  2. harold

    harold Community Champion

    I am sorry for what is happening to your brother. It must be very difficult for you to watch. You just need to be strong. I know he does not need help, but you do not need to give up on him entirely. Once in a while, check out on him. Let him know how much what he is doing is destroying him. Talk to him with hard words, but show him respect. I know that you must have already told him time and again that he needs help, and he must have ignored you, but you need to remain an authority that he can look up to and change when the right time comes. Above everything, you need to pray for him now. Since he does not want help, only God can cause him to seek help. Pray for him. I hope that your brother can listen to you someday and repent from his altitude and seek help.
    deanokat likes this.
  3. karmaskeeper

    karmaskeeper Community Champion

    I do ask about him, and see him here, and there. My son's also keep me updated on my two brothers. It's a bitter pill to swallow to say the least. I'll always be here for them both if they ever decide they have had enough I will be the first to reach out to them, but until then you are right I can pray, and hope.
  4. singingintherain

    singingintherain Community Champion

    That's a really tough situation. There's really only so much you can do if he is not ready/willing to help himself, or even let you help him. It is perhaps a little reassuring that, despite that lady's own problems, she reached out to you about your brother. I guess all you can really do is be available for when he is ready to accept help and work on this.
  5. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    How much we would like our loved ones would listen to us to do something about their addiction problems, but while they are on denial, certainly there is nothing you can do and no reason to feel bad about.

    You are doing the only you can do, and perhaps your prayers be heard and your brothers make a decision to change and start their way back to sobriety. No blame on you really.
  6. Owlwright

    Owlwright Member

    I know this must be extremely hard for you, but as you already said. You can not help someone who doesn't want any help. You can always offer your help and tell him he can turn to you whenever he needs it, but there is nothing that can be done otherwise. Addicts don't really see that they have a problem sometimes, and all their loved ones can do is offer help and be patient.
    Stay strong, my heart goes out to you and maybe he will have a reality check and see that it can't go on like this.
  7. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Narconon, bring him to one of these places and drop him off. They will recycle him up. You can even go and talk to them about him. They will go and get him. They will take him in and bring him back to reality. He will be like a new person after they get done with him. They'll also get him to pay for his own recovery.
    Could be the best thing you ever do for him and he doesn't even have to know. He needs to do it for himself is right, but you might need to give him a little boost to do it.
  8. Mally

    Mally Member

    It's hard but addicts only worry about themselves. You can only help a person if they really want to be helped and even then there's only so much that you can do because its their battle they have to fight. Just remember be strong and don't down yourself because you can't fix everything.
  9. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    There habit may have resulted out of influence. They seem to be justifying their habit by doing things together. You may want to know whoever started it all - smoking and drinking together. Otherwise you will have to approach them all, not only your brother. Talk to them about social values and ask them whether it is ethical to drink, smoke and sleep outside. You have to confront them and challenge their behavior.
  10. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I am so sorry you are dealing with this with your brother. It is hard to watch a loved one going through this and watching him waste away. It is hard to help somebody who doesn't want to help himself. You can try talking to him and reaching him. He clearly needs help. It is heartbreaking.